I was in the lobby of my son’s school the other day and they had so many colorfully kid created posters about Autism Awareness month. You know the ones with the puzzles and the different colors. I’m glad schools are doing their part to help make others more aware, especially parents and children. It was really nice to see but hard at the same time. The posters were colorful and they had factual information to ponder like, “More boys than girls are diagnosed with Autism.” Awhile ago I may have seen those posters or the Autism bumper stickers and not have given them too much thought. Today however seeing them brilliantly displayed was bittersweet.

Autism is so prevalent now that chances are you know someone who has it. You might know someone and not even realize it, like me. I have a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder and I didn’t realize it until a few years back when it hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. My son, Sean, doesn’t have classic Autism so it’s hard for people to understand that he has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. He looks like an average kid and intellectually comes across quite well which is why it’s such a deceptive disorder, or a hidden disability.

When Sean was little he seemed to develop fine. Gross and fine motor skills seemed average and his language skills were actually quite remarkable. He used very large words at a young age and people were impressed by his vocabulary. I was proud because I thought I was doing a good job at exposing him to language. I was also relieved because I didn’t think I had to worry about Autism at all. There were indicators though and looking back I now have hindsight knowledge as to little clues that he had an Autism Spectrum Disorder. For example when Sean was an infant he was a rigid baby and he was fascinated with the ceiling fan. Later he would have significant difficulty with behaviors in preschool and he wasn’t potty trained until around four. He hated listening to the radio in the car and he was extremely sensitive to clothing textures. At the time these things didn’t seem odd to me though they just seemed like Sean.

Before I knew it I just adapted everything for him because I figured it was no big deal and everyone is a little bit different. When I was driving with him I didn’t listen to the radio in the car and I’d remove his shirt tags. I was also careful about what I knew would trigger a reaction from him and avoided taking him to situations where he might have difficulties, like social gatherings and stores. For Sean it was the little things that literally meant a lot. I was so used to adapting that I didn’t even realize that it was different, I just thought that was what Sean needed and it wasn’t a problem to provide it. The problem was I was adapting for Sean but when he started elementary school they didn’t. They just didn’t realize what he needed like I did and because he wasn’t classified under special education they could only do so much to support him. His first year and a half of elementary school was just a nightmare. Needless to say after exhibiting significant difficulty in elementary school Sean was finally diagnosed, at the age of six, by a Psychiatrist with Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD. When he was diagnosed I was relieved because I knew he would finally get the support that he needed at school however at the same time it was like seeing the posters at school the other day, bittersweet.